Bali on a budget, with a baby

"And you're taking Rudy with you?"

Was the most common response when either Ev or I mentioned our honeymoon plans, because for some mad reason people found it easier to fathom the idea that we would travel nearly 8000 miles and spend 4 weeks without our 18 month old child than to take him that far from home. As if abandoning him is the more acceptable option.

You can then only imagine the reaction we got when we told them we were travelling full backpacker style. we had only booked the first 5 nights and would plan the rest as we went. 

But it worked, and it was unforgettable. I would (and will) do it all again in a heartbeat, with just a few tweaks, so here's what we learnt from 4 weeks, 8 stops on a budget of around £100 a day, with an 18 month old on our backs. 

1. Slow Travel - 2 stops a week

As I mentioned we hadn't planned our route or our stops before arriving, but had intended somewhere between 6-10 stops, and naturally ended on 8. We found that 3–4 nights per place was enough to feel unhurried and not too chaotic.

Legian was a strong start 5/5. Beachy, fun atmosphere, lots of live music in the evenings, family friendly. I would definitely go back here. 

Candidasa was okay:  2/5. a but out of the way and very quiet. We met some local guys who took us out on their boat which was a great way to test the water (literally) for boat trips with Rudy, but otherwise there wasn't much to do or many places to eat that were open during the day. 

Ubud 2/5 and that’s generous. I really really don't get the hype. Everywhere was overcrowded, loud and intense. There were some beautiful cafes and great food but just so many tourists. We went on a day trip to see some waterfalls and the ques were insane and the conversations we could hear were just toe curling, being surrounded by breath-taking nature and trying to inspire awe in my baby but overhearing "I can't wait to climb up there and get the perfect Instagram shot" made me cringe soooo much. I get it, we all want our pictures to share blah blah blah but that's not the purpose right? That's just an additional outcome. You go because it's amazing and fun and a new experience, and if you get a good picture great. But people were literally queuing to pose then moving on, no one seemed to actually be present in where they were. It was such a zoomed in mirror reflecting modern society in finite detail.

The crowds and the cringe actually became too so we turned around and left. Thankfully we had a private driver and after we explained we needed something different,  he took us a bit further out to another waterfall with only a handful of other people there who were definitely living in the moment, diving into the freezing water whilst their echoing cackles bounced wildly around. Yes we had our photo taken because we made friends with a young couple who offered to take it, but was that the reason we all took our toddler swimming under the waterfall - no.  If you're doing something just to share it online, my advise is really just don't bother as no one else cares about it as much as you do, do things for you or you kids because its beneficial and fun!!! Things can be both and also instagram-able but the priority should always be the impact not the perfect post. 

We also went to the Monkey Forest, which I thought would be great for Rudy, but again it was crazy busy and he wasn't as excited as I expected, it was fun but again not really worth it for us. 

The islands (Lembongan - in which we had two stops, Ceningan) absolutely won. Slower, quieter, less chaotic. 5/5.  Just perfect for us. Island life is just dreamy. We played on the beaches, boat tripped, swam with turtles and manta rays, partied with locals on the beach, snorkelled, ate well and just felt at total peace. The slow living and beautiful experiences in nature is perfect for families with kids of all ages.

Canguu - 3/5

This was the only place I felt that families/ young children weren't welcome, not by locals more so by other tourists. It just felt too cool.  Türkiye teeth, designer clothes and an air of arrogance. The Bali we'd seen and loved on the islands felt very distant. However, the food here was amazing. They call it the food capital and I totally see why, it was out of this world. From my research we had an unusual experience as a family; most other people rave about the accessibility and play areas but we just didn't share that feeling. 

2. Private Trips with Local Guides

We did a mixture of big group tours, when looking for the Manta Rays or going to big attractions, and private trips with guides/ people we met on the beach. For us, it was far more enjoyable with a private guide. Instead of following a fixed group schedule, a private trip allowed us to to move at our toddler's pace (or in one very weird exception at the very very slow pace of the fisherman who had taken us along under a snorkelling pretence but every twenty minutes hauled on another barracuda to slowly suffocate at the bottom of the boat) whether that means flexible departure times, extra snack breaks, or heading back early if needed. We could also spend time getting him on and off the boat or just take it in turns to snorkelling without feeling rushed. 

With fewer people on board, there’s more space, less noise, and a calmer environment which can never be a problem when you’re traveling with a toddler. Most importantly, you gain peace of mind knowing someone experienced is focused on your family’s safety and comfort, turning what could be a stressful outing into a relaxed and memorable experience.

3. Ditch the Fancy Hotels

It was our honeymoon and part of me wanted luxury, but really all we needed was a room with a bed and a cot (or some cases just one massive bed) and a pool. As long as we had a pool we had something to do when we just wanted to chill. Rudy learnt to swim so well on this trip because of the hours we played around in the pools. He didn't care if the rest of the rooms were empty or if the food was basic, but if there was a pool he was happy and if you keep the toddler happy - you're happy. By sticking to this philosophy we were able to book rooms for around £20 a night meaning we had more money for trips and meals out. 

4. Embrace the Friendly Culture

The friendliness of locals made this trip. Before we left I'd read about the friendly culture of the Balinese towards babies and as much as I was pleased to hear that it became like my mantra that no one would take my baby, no one would walk around with him and he would be clutched in my arms, "safe" at all times.

And, as pre-empted Rudy was adored everywhere. But I relaxed and trusted the kindness of strangers. Waitresses carried him off mid-meal. Taxi drivers entertained him like it was their life’s mission. One man sat on the floor with him putting stickers in his book whilst Ev and I actually ate a meal at the same time. People just seamlessly connected with him, it was like having our family village right there with us. 

I learnt, that if you relax into that instead of clinging tightly to control, travelling with a toddler becomes lighter. It became less survival mode and more experience, for us and for him. 

5.Island Living Over City Life 

Ubud confirmed what we probably already knew: noise, traffic and overstimulation with a toddler is not charming, it’s chaos. The islands were slower. Less frantic, more forgiving. And when you’re carrying snacks, water, wipes and a human who wants to walk but not in the direction you need, forgiving is good. Being in nature and with constant access to the sea is exactly what kids (and adults) need to regulate and feel at peace. 

6.  Enjoy the Evenings 

At home our toddler evenings are slow, calm and predictable bath, story, bed. When travelling we blow that up and I love it. 

The perfect routine for us was

Morning = explore- boat trips, long walks, beach time etc.
Afternoon = retreat- nap and time by the pool. 
Evening = explore again - eat out, sunsets, live music. 

We found getting up and straight out was great, we didn't get stuck in waiting mode or bored before 1pm we'd walk or swim in the sea, or day trip all morning. Then after lunch Rudy would nap, we'd rest so by the evening we're all feeling good and ready to embrace something new again. This meant we had fun nights out watching live music, sunsets on the beach, even being the first three people in a club one night 🤣and 80% of the time Rudy would fall asleep on our walk back which removed that bedtime struggle, not cot rocking or being sat deathly still in darkness soothing him to sleep for hours on end. 

Is it worth the flight?

So many people have asked me, was it really worth the long haul flight with a toddler. 

Short answer yes. 

Long answer, it was hard, draining, and has left a few scars but for four weeks of fun totally worth it. 

I don't think I'd travel that far for anything less than 3 weeks with a child aged 1-3, because whatever the durations is, that age range will make it feel like double. 

Babies are portable.

Older kids negotiate. 

Toddlers? Toddlers bring so much joy and so much terror. They're unpredictable beautiful but the carnage can be catastrophic, and we found that out the hard way on our 24 hour journey home....